Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
