Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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