I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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