she was so not down for the gang bang
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
