You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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