I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
