OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
