I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
