4 words: hood of his car
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
