I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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