i just google imaged poop.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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