we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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