Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
