I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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