I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
