he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
