There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
