Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
