Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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