I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
