My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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