get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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