Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
