At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Randomize
