I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
