I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
its not stalking. its research.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.  Â
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
