i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
