I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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