And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
