Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
