my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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