And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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