yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize