Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
