Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
this is an emotional support booty call
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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