I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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