Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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