Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
