The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
