I bet he comes in French.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
