How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
