I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
