I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
