Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
