hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
