These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
