You don't have asthma, your pregnant
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
