Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
