Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
