i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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