If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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