She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
wow bdsm is so cute
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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