I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
